Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
I need coffee in my life more than I need most people.
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you`re angrily chasing him.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
As it turns out, I’m not an afternoon person either.
I`ll tell you what`s wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
If it weren`t for marriage,,, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
Someone just asked me if I was `happily` married. Single people are adorable.