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I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
Silence is Golden, unless you`re married.. Then Silence is Suspicious.
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
"Please take a seat" was a bad introduction for a Kleptomaniacs` Anonymous meeting.
My exercise routine needs to include a little more than opening difficult pistachios.