Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
I thought I was having deja vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
I wish some people`s cardio exercise consisted of running into traffic.
If my father taught me one thing, it was probably how to take both hands off the wheel to sarcastically applaud people in traffic.
Show me, on this cat calendar, how long it`s been since you`ve had a date?
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
Don`t be sad, laundry. Nobody is doing me either.
The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.
I usually want to post intelligent and witty comments. But I end up posting stupid and funny ones so my friends can understand them.
Years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!