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Bologna sandwiches are parents way of saying... it`s my legal obligation to feed you something.
I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
You’re not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone.
The Never Ending Story should`ve been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
I roasted a turkey today, but I don`t think he got the jokes.
Do you think Santa regrets giving all those bad kids coal now that global warming is threatening his home?
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
heyy lol
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.