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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
I`m hearing voices again. Probably because my window is open and there are people outside talking, but still.
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
Why haven’t we just found someone ballsy enough to dress up as Mrs Bigfoot and catch him already?
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill.
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.