Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I say "I cleaned my room", I usually mean I made a path from my door to my bed.
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
Beer is good, but beers are better.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
I will never admit to my parents that I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa as long as I still get presents and candy.
You know it´s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.
A coworker gave me an invitation to her wedding in case you were wondering why this paper airplane I’m making has lace on it.