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Bologna sandwiches are parents way of saying... it`s my legal obligation to feed you something.
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
There`s no law against twerking...but apparently it`s still frowned upon during jury duty.
I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
Woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on my face....damn kids and thier sharpies.
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
I have good taste, I just don`t have the money to prove it.
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!
The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal.