Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
Birthdays back then: Wow! Look at all these presents!. Birthdays now : Wow damn look at all these notifications!.
Apparently "I`ll break your god damn legs" isn`t the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
It`s called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
A hypnotist is just someone that tries to roofie you with jazz hands.
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…