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I wonder how many dads named their sons Luke just so they can say "Luke, I am your father."....
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
Whoever said "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you" has obviously never been hit with a dictionary.
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
Sorry I`m late, my alarm didn`t go off, because I didn`t set it ... because I don`t like coming here