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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
Don`t blame me. You`re the one following a 41 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters.
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
“Was that lightning?” “No no…. they’re taking pictures for Google Earth..”
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
I really like compliments but I don`t want anyone talking to me...
You are here: X
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
Yea...sure! I was hoping someone would come and stand uncomfortably close to me today
If your buttcrack is showing out of your pants. I will drop change in it and make a wish.
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.