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Does the Food Network deliver?
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
I have many talents, but giving an f*ck isn’t one of them
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
I don`t want to set the world on fire........just you.
A leaf blower, but for people.
MY 8 YEAR OLD: "Walrus testicles are called walnuts."
I don`t throw anything out anymore I just go to TGI Friday`s once a month and glue more sh!t to the wall, no one notices, try it
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck ... My wife still came home ... Superstitions are stupid.
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)