Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don´t know when.
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
Just...sitting...thinking...planning my next move to get that new roll of toilet paper about 5 feet away from me.
Most of you like waking up in the morning to see the "comments" and "likes" that your status received. I like waking up in the morning to see WTF I posted!
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
The new Jungle Book movie might be confusing to today`s kids who don`t remember when we had jungles. Or books...
I make self-sabotage look like an art form.
Love is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
I bet the Fantastic 4 were just pretending to have a girl in the group. "Uh yeah she`s just invisible right now. She`s totally real though."
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.