Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
The awkward moment when you have 10 tabs open and cannot figure out which one the music is coming from.
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
After a while you just get used to people not understanding.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
My ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" but I can`t drive a bus.
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
I would have a girlfriend but finding someone who likes to be ignored is hard.
I`m paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.
Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.
Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.