Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
is bored of being bored because being bored is boring.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
Laptop speakers, too quiet for music, too loud for porn.
Water is so good when it`s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.