Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
That`s not how I met your mother.
Just want to apologize to all the unlucky men that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped her.
Dog Found: Now we are bros, so he`s staying. Don`t call, don`t make it weird.
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better ... Well, for me anyway.
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
I hate when men`s restrooms have no urinals and a bunch of women in them.
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
A homeless guy asked me for money today and I thought, sure, he’s probably just gonna spend it on booze and cigarettes. Then I remembered, that’s what I was gonna do, so we walked to the store together.
for every like, I will fart on my wife face
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.