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Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
I wouldn`t say I`m an alcoholic. I`d slur it.
Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
What happens in Vegas never happens to me
If someone says "I`m a sub-par golfer" does that mean they`re good at golf, or bad?
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope`s car.
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...