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I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right
Marriage is just a 50 year long negotiation over thermostat settings.
My neighbor just spent $237.43 at the vet, that`s $1,662.01 in dog dollars.
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
I`d like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
My key to happiness is probably lost somewhere in the junk drawer.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
The only complaint I have about being married is being married.
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hell fire and hypothermia.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!