Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know your fat when you sit in the bath tub and the water in the toilet rises.
When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds
I`m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
My new years resolution was to lose 30 lbs by the end of summer... I`ve only got 40 lbs to go.
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
I`m an optimist. To me, the glass is always half alcohol.
Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they don’t make you a mix tape?
If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn`t mean I`m stalking you...It just means you haven`t looked nice in awhile
What are the words I`m looking for? Oh yeah...Eat sh!t and die.
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.