Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t hate me because I think I`m beautiful.
For daylight savings, we should move the clocks forward an hour on Monday at 9 AM so that we lose an hour of work instead of sleep.
Christmas is all about getting your entire dysfunctional family under one roof, hoping the cops don`t get called and nobody gets arrested.
Ways to tell a woman is mad at you: 1. She is silent. 2. She is yelling. 3. She acts different. 4. She acts the same. 5. She kills you.
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
My dog is a typical guy, I talk to him and he’s all wagging his tail, but I know he’s not listening. I get it ladies.
It`s all sh*ts and giggles till somebody giggles and sh*ts
Putting a light in the refrigerator is God`s way of telling us that it`s okay to eat before going to bed.
? Single ? Taken ? Depends on who`s asking.
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..
Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
I say the things better left unsaid.
Women- God’s version of a Rubik’s cube.