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Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
I don’t want to go to work. There are people there.
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
Being the fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
Why don`t they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
Adulthood is basically sadness and paying bills.
Nothing says IDGAF like an old lady at a slot machine wearing oxygen and smoking a cigarette.