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Salad tastes pretty good once you add some pizza and get rid of the salad.
So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.
What I learned in college 1.Water bottles are a great way to hide vodka. 2. When your thirsty in the morning you will regret #1.
Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons... They forgot to add Morons.
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them…
I don`t mean to brag... but I`m a pretty damn good peek-a-boo opponent
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.