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My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
Apparently there`s enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
Football Logic: Your team won: Celebrate with beers! Your team lost: Better drown my sorrows in some beer.
She might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty`s only a light switch away.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Nothing like a brisk morning jog to start the day! Just kidding! I don`t do that.
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
When someone tells you they are getting a divorce, a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told, twice now.
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?
I think a clear conscience is really just memory loss