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Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
My support group can outdrink your support group.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
Whoever invented self checkout greatly overestimated the general intelligence of the human race.
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it “Decisions, Decisions”.
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it`s not in my way.
I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.
I dont run from my problems, I chase them ... with alcohol
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.