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Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
Do you know what this house is missing? A box of $#!+, Let`s get a cat.
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
I got a new high score today ... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale
Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.