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I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
Why do crutons come in resealable bags? Are we really worried about them going stale?
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar.
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
Someone asked an old man: "After 70yrs you still call your wife Darling, Honey and Luv. What`s the secret?"... Old man: I forgot her name 10 yrs ago & I`m scared 2 ask her.
When people stare at me, I assume its because they are taking notes on how to be a bad a$$ motherf*cker.
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.