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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
I shouldn`t have to work. People should just pay me for being awesome.
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
“Nevermind.” Translation... You should’ve listened the first time.
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
Dating a single mother.... It`s like continuing from somebody else`s saved game.
Success, like a fart, only bothers people when its not their own.
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
Be nice to people on your way up so they won’t get suspicious when you’re rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.