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Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
I’m sorry I slapped you. It’s just you seemed like you weren’t going to stop talking and I panicked.
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.
If you weren`t supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn`t package them in rows of 15.