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(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
I’m starting to think that the gym isn’t really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later.
If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
wondering if today is a good day to implement my plan...
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum
FACT: Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you’re brave enough.
Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
I use meditation and yoga to handle stress...Just kidding, I pop pills for that sh!t.
I gave my cat 7up, now it has 16 lives
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.