Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and the internet.
that awkard moment when someone`s laugh is actually funnier than the joke
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.