Daily Silly Status

So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?

I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know...Oreos.

wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off

Holding my breath until someone likes this status.

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.

Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.

New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.

Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.

I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary

4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot how to reduce their fractions.

As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.

If she burns the bacon, she`s no good bro

Revenge is best served to someone`s toothbrush.

I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)