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Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
Pro tip: when you`re watching a show like "my five wives" with your wife, don`t suggest potential additional wives.
I`m not the type of person you should put on speaker phone
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right? ... Inspirational posts are hard.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
Pregreening - creeping forward while waiting for a red light to change.
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
If turning alcohol into bad decisions ever becomes an Olympic event, I`m bringin` home the Gold! USA! USA!
Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?
drinks well with others.