Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God or man has rested.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
I finally figured out why men love belly rings so much on their women. It reminds them of the staple in the middle of their porn magazines!
I just called the Alcohol Hotline and those bastards don`t even deliver.
Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don`t have? For example, right now I want tacos
A party without Vodka is just a meeting.
I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
I am a very very very bad influence ... In a good way.
Sometimes, entire relationships can be chalked up to, "that weird thing I did for a while."
Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.
It’s not my fault God gave you boobs to stare at.