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A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
Nice try, Henry Winkler, but I’m not inclined to take mortgage advice from a guy who lived above the Cunningham’s garage for like ten years.
One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves.
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
Whenever you`re powerless, remember: A single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a restaurant.
I`ve been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat
A girl who lives hundreds of miles away texting you “I’m drunk” is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying “I’m delicious”