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Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
The difference between “like” “love” and “in love” is the same as the difference between “for now” “for a while” and “forever”
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
I think it`s about time Taylor Swift wrote a song called "Maybe I`m the Problem"
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it`s not their own.