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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son`s love, I sometimes think to myself, "This may be the worst prize ever."
My girlfriend says I shouldn`t plan things so far in advance. Well, she`s not my girlfriend yet.
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don`t like her new haircut.
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?