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I just realized that if we drink enough wine, the adult`s table will become the kid`s table.
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
My wife hasnt stopped looking through the window since it started raining. If it gets worse, I might have to let her back in...
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren`t happy.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Dear family, thank you for all those wonderful childhood memories ... Here`s my therapy bill.
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
heyy lol
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.