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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
Sometimes after a nap, I like to take another nap.
Show me, on this cat calendar, how long it`s been since you`ve had a date?
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends.
That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..
My problem? Smart phones are too smart.
"I wanna f*ck you so hard right now." "What?!?" "Damn autocorrect, I meant hey."
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
Being single is the worst sh!t ever. Being in a relationship is a close second.
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science
I wouldn`t do much for a Klondike Bar; I would however get naked for beer.