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I learned most of what I know about dropping pianos on people from cartoons.
I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won´t spoil me.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
Merry Christmas (I apologize if you`re not Christian). Happy Hanukkah (I apologize if you`re not Jewish). Happy Holidays (I apologize if you`re not happy).
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren´t even trying.
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
Most hated song in jail: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you"......