Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
You make me want to be a better class of psycho.
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes, or until you check their browser history.
It`s annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there`s always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
I try to live my life by the saying: “You scratch my back and I’ll let you know when to stop.”
I’m tired of things costing money.
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
You trust me holding your child? Do you know how many iPhone screens I’ve cracked?
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
Yes, I streaked once on a dare ... all the rest of the times though were just for fun
Do homeless people get Knock Knock Jokes?