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Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can`t help but think that my days around here are numbered...
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
My car remote died. I had to insert my key into the lock like some kind of goddamn animal.
Just as I predicted, today was in fact a new day!
I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.
Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan? ;)
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Now that there is no FBI director we can finally make copies of VHS tapes
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!