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"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
I’m not saying don’t trust the internet but there’s an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I’ve won & the number of ipads I own.
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
What idiot called it a driver`s test and not a Game of Cones?
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
Half a dozen: because “six” is way to long.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better status than yours!