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The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
It`s just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
I went for a 6 mile run tonight. The police are getting in much better shape these days.
The trouble with bucket seats is that, not everybody has the same size bucket.
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
The most frustrating thing about watching Nascar is that they never signal
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
I`m sorry I slapped you but you didn`t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome