Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I`m the race car, sometimes I`m the iron. But usually I`m a peanut because I`ve lost all the game pieces.
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
I generally don`t hang out with people who are missing digits on their feet. It`s not that I`m a jerk. I`m just lack-toes intolerant.
Get ahead of myself. Sometimes I
When I die, I am going to haunt the f*ck out of you people.
Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
COLLEGE STUDENTS: if you`re looking for a job, your career center lists thousands of openings you don`t have enough experience for.
FUN FACT: If you take all of the marshmellows out of a box of Lucky Chrams, you`ll have a bag of Purina Cat Chow
You bring a baby monitor to the bar one time and everyone freaks out.