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Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH!
Had a blast doing my Black Friday tradition!!!! I slept!
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
There`s an emoji for eggplants but not for popcorn and this is why trusting people isn`t just hard, it`s impossible.
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
I`m too lazy to ever write a biography. Story of my life.
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
I`m returning these Gushers. They taste like sh!t. "Sir. Those are paintballs." Oh. I`m returning these paintballs. Someone ate a few.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page