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Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
There is no "we" in "bacon", so don`t even ask.
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
Ever wonder why divorces are expensive? Because they are worth it!
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
Warning: I just get weirder.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
If I live to be 100, I`m gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
The best way to make a bad day better is by adding alcohol.
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.