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The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I`m slowly getting over it.
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.