Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just shaved my legs. I think I lost three pounds.
I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
You must have been born on a highway. Most accidents take place there.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don’t like, I just say “oh yeah, that’s where that really cute girl works”. Problem solved.
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
Learn cursive, they said. You`ll need it your whole life, they said.
What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
"Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I`m not angry or covered in piss.
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!
One of the saddest days of my life was when I heard that bears sleep for half the year and I realized I had been born the wrong species