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On a scale from 0 to insane, I`m Batman!
Remember the days when water was free and you had to pay for porn?
I`ve ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child.
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm.
A hard thing about business is minding your own
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
I have problems cleaning my house because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
So far I’ve spent most of 2014 flipping off the weather channel.
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven`t had any yet.
Facebook is a lot like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every couple of minutes to see if there`s anything good, but nothing ever changes :b