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The only problem with using the treadmill is that you can`t run from your own farts.
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
Ever wonder why divorces are expensive? Because they are worth it!
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.
If your father is poor, Its your fate, but if your father-in-law is poor, then its your fault!
Yesterday I fell off a 50 foot ladder. It`s probably a good thing I was on the bottom step...
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....
That awkward moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the hot water ran out.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360