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In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
Do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you`re just like, "That is you."
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
I`ve just invented an invisibility cloak; anything under it is rendered completely invisible. I`m still working out the kinks; you can still see the cloak itself
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
Mac & Cheese doesn`t contain many vitamins, so it`s important you always eat a bunch of it.
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
I don`t gamble. I don’t drink. My one vice is my iPhone. Well, that and lying about drinking and gambling.
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, when I tell people about my accomplishments, they always say, "Big deal."
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?