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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
This dishwasher sucks. It`s already ruined three of my paper plates.
I wish I could veto MY bills.
I don`t get personal trainers. I`ve never been exercising and thought "man, I wish someone hot was criticizing me right now."
I hate when I spend the extra money to buy organic vegetables only to get home and find out that I bought regular donuts.
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
Haiku`s confuse me / Too often they make no sense / Hand me the pliers
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.
If being an a$$hole was a professional sport, my face would be on a box of wheaties.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
*driving behind a cop* Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned.
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don`t have Cancer! Me: So it`s working...