Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
Survival rule #1: You go first.
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
I don`t feel like folding the laundry, so I just restart the dryer
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."
There`s a pretty good chance I`ll end up being one of those senior citizens who randomly bites people...
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.