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i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall (he also had a pretty good summer too).
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of "going to the gym in 2013."
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
I learned two important lessons today. I can`t remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
Success, like a fart, only bothers people when its not their own.
i only drink on days that end with y
Me, on phone to credit card company: What if you just break my kneecaps and we call it even?
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
I`m pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison...
Listen lady, if you stopped screaming maybe you would enjoy holding hands with me.