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Whatever I did to make you hate me, Iād like to know. I have other people I can use that on.
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
Dad, I love how we don`t even have to say out loud that I`m your favorite. Happy Fathers Day!
Whenever I pick my Grandma up from the airport, I leave my left blinker on during the entire drive so she feels more comfortable.
Therapy helps ... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!
Nothing says "high-functioning alcoholic" like being really good at darts.
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
Ha, SUCKA`S! I just smuggled a bag of popcorn into the movie theater. Now I just need to borrow their microwave.
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE!