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To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
St. Patricks day is the only time you can ask somebody in public,"Do you want some green" without you looking suspect.
A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I am dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant.
Finger Prints on Super Bowl Trophy to be used in dozens of criminal investigations
I wish some people`s cardio exercise consisted of running into traffic.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
My wife told me that her favorite position is when I lay very very still wearing a toe tag and she starts dating again
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
I bet every guy would be faithful if God took an inch off his d!ck every time he cheated...
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
Hockey: because running on knives makes sense.
Is bloodletting still in use today? Just thinking...I know a couple of people here that may be in need of some bloodletting
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "