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If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
Why are people sad when potatoes can be cooked in like 200 ways?
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
I`m starting to think mosquitoes just land on our faces not to suck blood but to see how stupid we look when we slap ourselves.
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
I`m just standing here...50 yards away, waiting for the restraining order to expire.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
Guys, if she says she`s crazy, she`s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
Every time I`m about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up...
I find that some of the best jokes are the ones that drag you in slowly and then leave you waiting in antici...
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
awesome collection!