Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive slowly down the road behind them blasting “Eye of the Tiger” just to give them motivation.
People say, “You have to work on a marriage.” I say, “No thank you. I already have a job
It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
Traffic jams are more tolerable if you just think of them as really boring parades.
Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
You can`t fix stupid, but you can always drink more beer.
Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people?
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
That Awkward Moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?