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That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
4 out of 5 dentists agree that 1 out of 5 dentists is just doing it for the attention.
I was disappointed to learn that the Discovery Channel’s program “Deadliest Catch” wasn’t about first marriages.
Calling your girlfriend by her Moms name during a fight is a great way to escalate the situation.
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.
I`m going to start tackling random guys in football jerseys saying "look how he`s dressed. He was asking for it!"
DOCTORS WRITING: "?? ?? ??." HOW I SEE IT: "?????." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Aspirin."
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!