Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Son: "Dad, can you write in the dark?" Dad: "Uh, I think so, why?" Son: "I need you to sign my report card."
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
Do you ever just get a random burst of motivation to clean your house, write a novel, paint a masterpiece or read a book ... Yeah, me neither.
Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius.
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
I am Bad and thats Good. I will never be Good and thats not Bad. There`s no one i`d rather be than ME.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
God: Is there anything else you need Adam? Adam: yes I want a Sandwich! God: Ok let`s create eve.
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"