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Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
I always laugh at myself. If I didnยดt, everyone else would be having fun without me.
I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
The first order of business for the 115th Congress: blaming everything on the 114th Congress.
Today I seek some truth and fulfilment but Iโll settle for some bacon.
Where 5 minutes becomes 5 hours. Facebook.
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
I`m getting worried about this Ebola virus. I mean, I`ve got Norton but...
I`ll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life i am going to "allow to cool in microwave for 1 minute"!
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
I stop at random Jehovah`s Witness houses and drop off copies of Rolling Stone.
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
Starbucks isn`t really that expensive compared to how much Victoria`s Secret charges per cup.