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I would like to think that I`ll die heroic death saving someone`s life but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my shoelaces and choke on a spoonful of Nutella.
I don`t care about your status...
Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
I did 26 situps this morning. It’s not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock ?
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
I peed so hard that a little laugh came out
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses...
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.