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America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
The final stage of adulthood is when you start saying, "Oooh, that breeze feels nice."
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
I am 5 for 5 on popping my trunk instead of unlocking the fuel door at the gas station.
what happends when chemists pass away...We Barium.
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
Rest area restrooms are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.