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Maybe Oscar wouldn`t have been so grouchy if the people on Sesame Street cared about the fact that he`s homeless
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
In space they just call it "Jam"
I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
I generally don`t hang out with people who are missing digits on their feet. It`s not that I`m a jerk. I`m just lack-toes intolerant.
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
Most days the best thing about my job is that my chair spins
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.
Next time I go to Hooters I`m ordering milk.
I only use the outdoors to get to another indoors.
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?