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"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
If you can´t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don´t know where you are.
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
Folks, there`s no need to say GOODNIGHT on Facebook. NO ONE will be thinking " hey where did they go".
What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there`s no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it.
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.