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The black sheep always have the best stories.
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
drink beer ?? save water
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I`m like that, but with salad.
The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has been canceled. In other news, my faith in humanity has been restored.
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
When I see a cute couple making out I yell, ” I knew you’re seeing somebody else!” and run crying.
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
Inspiration: nobody else knows what the hell they’re doing either.
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.