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Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
Weekends are like a orgasm.. It`s takes a lot to get there and when u finally do it`s over in no time
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don`t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
"You only live once" is also an equally compelling reason not to do something extreme or stupid.
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets??
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that`s why he doesn`t want to shake your hand".