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That awkward moment when your screen freezes on a really embarrassing website
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
A slug is just a divorced snail.
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.
I have no idea why they say that counting sheep helps you fall asleep. This farm is freezing and these cows are noisy as hell.