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What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
Some people wouldn`t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
Boys are like roses, watch out for the pr!cks...
Dog Found: Now we are bros, so he`s staying. Don`t call, don`t make it weird.
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
Dear Mom, If all my friends jumped off a cliff, it`s because it was my idea. Sincerely, Your child is a leader, not a follower.
You know its bad when you feel like your life is being directed by Quentin Tarantino.
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
There’s plenty of fish in the sea… I just suck at fishing.
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
What`s the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you`ve fooled me, what`s behind that blur? Is it a monkey? A pencil?
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word" is super-romantic. But the cops didn`t think so.